The Art of the Squeal: A Trade War Saga 
Gather round, dear readers, for the tale of the greatest trade chess match since… well, ever. A masterclass in strategy, stamina, and spectacularly backfiring bravado.It all started with a bold move.
🇺🇸 Trump: “Tariffs on china are now 34%. That’ll teach ‘em!”Naturally, china responded with the diplomacy of a Shaolin monk and the precision of a calculator.
🇨🇳 “Oh, 34%? That’s cute. Here, have some tariffs back.”But The Donald doesn’t blink. He’s a man of big deals and even bigger escalations.
🇺🇸 “Fine. Make it 84%. This is 4D chess, folks!”China, unfazed, sips green tea.
🇨🇳 “Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, 84% it is, then.”Now this is where things start to sizzle. Our hero, in a dazzling display of economic fireworks, quadruples down.
🇺🇸 “Let’s go with 145%! That’ll definitely win the trade war. believe me.”At this point, china barely even pauses its dumpling-making.
🇨🇳 “145%? Cool. Back at ya.”Suddenly—plot twist!—our master tactician has an urgent need… for a phone call.
🇺🇸 “Can someone get Xi on the line? Please? Anyone?”Crickets.Trump, the ever-magnanimous dealmaker, tries a different approach:
🇺🇸 “Actually, I’m ready to make a deal now. Real good deal. Best deal.”China:
🇨🇳 “…still nothing.”And so, in the final act of this Shakespearean comedy…
🇺🇸 “We’ve decided to roll back the tariffs. Totally our idea. Strategic. Genius.”Bravo. Curtain falls.Moral of the story? Never play chicken with someone who doesn’t mind eating it cold while watching your economy sweat.Next week on "The Art of the Deal": How to start a fire and then call yourself the fireman.
Gather round, dear readers, for the tale of the greatest trade chess match since… well, ever. A masterclass in strategy, stamina, and spectacularly backfiring bravado.It all started with a bold move.
🇺🇸 Trump: “Tariffs on china are now 34%. That’ll teach ‘em!”Naturally, china responded with the diplomacy of a Shaolin monk and the precision of a calculator.
🇨🇳 “Oh, 34%? That’s cute. Here, have some tariffs back.”But The Donald doesn’t blink. He’s a man of big deals and even bigger escalations.
🇺🇸 “Fine. Make it 84%. This is 4D chess, folks!”China, unfazed, sips green tea.
🇨🇳 “Hmm. Interesting. Anyway, 84% it is, then.”Now this is where things start to sizzle. Our hero, in a dazzling display of economic fireworks, quadruples down.
🇺🇸 “Let’s go with 145%! That’ll definitely win the trade war. believe me.”At this point, china barely even pauses its dumpling-making.
🇨🇳 “145%? Cool. Back at ya.”Suddenly—plot twist!—our master tactician has an urgent need… for a phone call.
🇺🇸 “Can someone get Xi on the line? Please? Anyone?”Crickets.Trump, the ever-magnanimous dealmaker, tries a different approach:
🇺🇸 “Actually, I’m ready to make a deal now. Real good deal. Best deal.”China:
🇨🇳 “…still nothing.”And so, in the final act of this Shakespearean comedy…
🇺🇸 “We’ve decided to roll back the tariffs. Totally our idea. Strategic. Genius.”Bravo. Curtain falls.Moral of the story? Never play chicken with someone who doesn’t mind eating it cold while watching your economy sweat.Next week on "The Art of the Deal": How to start a fire and then call yourself the fireman.
