Cold Storage Review – Grisly, Witty, and Just a Little Undercooked
Cold Storage review – Fungal Frights, Dry Wit, and a Tone That Wobbles
There’s something deliciously pulpy about high-concept horror that traps everyday people in an impossible bio-nightmare. writer David Koepp has made a career out of balancing blockbuster spectacle with grounded tension, from Jurassic Park to Panic Room. Now adapting his own novel, “Cold Storage” aims to blend alien-horror grotesquerie with small-town workplace comedy — and while it never fully ignites, it’s just entertaining enough to avoid total containment failure.
The result is a grisly, occasionally charming genre mashup that works in bursts, stumbles in tone, but ultimately floats on personality and practical effects.
Story: When Fungus Fights Back
Set in a Kansas self-storage facility built atop a decommissioned U.S. military base, the film follows Travis “Teacake” Meacham (Joe Keery), a night-shift security guard who expects boredom, not biological annihilation. His new coworker Naomi Williams (Georgina Campbell) joins him for what should be a routine orientation — until they stumble upon a sealed underground chamber housing a long-dormant parasitic fungus.
The organism spreads fast, infecting humans and animals alike, mutating them into grotesque, exploding monstrosities. Enter Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson), a retired bioterror operative with history — and unfinished business — with the pathogen. As the infection threatens to spiral beyond containment, this unlikely trio must stop it before extinction-level consequences unfold.
It’s a lean setup with clear stakes. The problem isn’t premise — it’s propulsion.
Performances: Charisma Does Heavy Lifting
Joe Keery leans comfortably into his fast-talking, slightly neurotic charm. Fans of Stranger Things will recognize the cadence and comedic rhythm, but Keery adds enough self-awareness to keep it engaging. Georgina Campbell brings dry resilience to Naomi, grounding the chaos with understated wit.
Liam Neeson, meanwhile, does what Liam Neeson does best: grizzled competence with a flicker of vulnerability. There’s an amusing contrast between his aching back and his willingness to haul dangerous weaponry across Kansas farmland. He’s clearly enjoying the absurdity.
Yet, for all their appeal, the characters never quite evolve. They react, they survive, they quip — but they don’t transform. By the end, they feel more like well-cast archetypes than fully realized arcs.
Direction & Technical Craft: Practical Effects Shine
Director Jonny Campbell, known for television work like Westworld, proves especially adept with horror mechanics. The infection sequences are intimate and visceral, often employing unsettling close-ups that emphadata-size the fungus’s invasive brutality.
The practical effects are a highlight. Mutated animals and infected bodies are rendered with gruesome detail, blending old-school tactile horror with restrained visual effects. A particularly memorable moment involving an infected cat is both grotesque and perversely inventive.
Where Campbell falters is in tonal cohesion. The horror sequences crackle with energy, but quieter scenes often feel visually flat. The military situation room subplot, featuring Ellora Torchia’s Abigail, strives for procedural gravitas reminiscent of Kathryn Bigelow’s grounded tension, but it clashes with the tongue-in-cheek creature-feature spirit elsewhere.
The result is a tonal tug-of-war rather than a seamless blend.
Analysis: comedy, Carnage, and Compromise
Koepp’s dry humor is one of the film’s strongest assets. The jokes land more often than not — subtle, character-driven quips rather than broad punchlines. The film doesn’t mock its premise, but it refuses to treat it as solemn sci-fi either.
Still, there’s a sense that “Cold Storage” is holding back from becoming either fully outrageous or fully terrifying. At 99 minutes, it should feel tight and kinetic, yet some stretches lack urgency. The film’s biggest enemy isn’t the fungus — it’s inertia.
There’s a sharper, more electric version of this story somewhere beneath the surdata-face. What we get instead is a competent genre entry that entertains without ever transcending.
What Works
• Genuinely gnarly practical effects and creature design
• Dry, character-based humor that mostly lands
• Joe Keery’s easy charisma
• Liam Neeson’s self-aware, grizzled presence
• A pulpy premise with clear, high-stakes tension
What Doesn’t
• Tonal inconsistency between horror and procedural elements
• Underdeveloped character arcs
• Visual flatness in non-horror scenes
• Pacing that feels slower than its runtime suggests
Bottom Line
“Cold Storage” doesn’t quite mutate into a genre classic, but it’s infectious enough to entertain. With grisly thrills, sharp one-liners, and a trio of likable leads, it delivers creature-feature fun — even if it never fully evolves into something unforgettable.
It’s messy. It’s uneven. But it’s rarely boring.