How To Get People To Do What You Want? Ex-Secret Service Agent Reveals 'Spy Trick'
Former Secret service agent Evy Poumpouras, who served as a bodyguard for US presidents George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, and Barack Obama, offers a piece of advice on persuading people to do what you want: "Listen" and "shut up."
"There's a misconception that people believe they have control if they speak most of the time," Poumpouras clarified. "It's garbage." In an open interview with Steven Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast, the seasoned agent debunked popular myths around influence.
"The biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot," she stated. "If I'm doing all the talking and you're doing all the listening, you're learning everything about me-my values, belief systems, and what drives me."
"What you want to understand is that person's motivational mindset," she said. Finding out what drives them—whether it's freedom, money, safety, or respect—allows you to tailor your demands to suit their preferences.
"If you go in with the perspective 'I need, I want,' you're going to lose," she said. "Go in with the perspective: What does this person need?"
Poumpouras, a former polygraph specialist who conducted lie detector tests, honed her ability to read people by paying close attention to body language and listening intently. She claims that spoken words are only one aspect of communication.
"The majority of what we communicate is actually through our bodies, not through the words we speak," she said. "When I talk to people, the way I know what I'm saying is resonating is I see the head nod up and down, and I see their eyes follow me."
Her 2020 book Becoming Bulletproof, which is a combination memoir and a manual for overcoming obstacles in life, details her astute observations. She provides lessons on reading people, influencing circumstances, and navigating a world full of hidden agendas, all based on her twelve years of top training.
"Whenever you hear someone saying, 'Trust me, I know what I'm doing,' that is usually the last thing you should do," Poumpouras stated. She also emphadata-sized how crucial it is to watch for tiny clues of discomfort or dishonesty, such crossed arms or abrupt posture changes.
Poumpouras's abilities have been essential in everything from developing informants to handling high-stakes scenarios with some of the most dangerous people in the world.
"There's a misconception that people believe they have control if they speak most of the time," Poumpouras clarified. "It's garbage." In an open interview with Steven Bartlett on the Diary of a CEO podcast, the seasoned agent debunked popular myths around influence.
"The biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot," she stated. "If I'm doing all the talking and you're doing all the listening, you're learning everything about me-my values, belief systems, and what drives me."
"What you want to understand is that person's motivational mindset," she said. Finding out what drives them—whether it's freedom, money, safety, or respect—allows you to tailor your demands to suit their preferences.
"If you go in with the perspective 'I need, I want,' you're going to lose," she said. "Go in with the perspective: What does this person need?"
Poumpouras, a former polygraph specialist who conducted lie detector tests, honed her ability to read people by paying close attention to body language and listening intently. She claims that spoken words are only one aspect of communication.
"The majority of what we communicate is actually through our bodies, not through the words we speak," she said. "When I talk to people, the way I know what I'm saying is resonating is I see the head nod up and down, and I see their eyes follow me."
Her 2020 book Becoming Bulletproof, which is a combination memoir and a manual for overcoming obstacles in life, details her astute observations. She provides lessons on reading people, influencing circumstances, and navigating a world full of hidden agendas, all based on her twelve years of top training.
"Whenever you hear someone saying, 'Trust me, I know what I'm doing,' that is usually the last thing you should do," Poumpouras stated. She also emphadata-sized how crucial it is to watch for tiny clues of discomfort or dishonesty, such crossed arms or abrupt posture changes.
Poumpouras's abilities have been essential in everything from developing informants to handling high-stakes scenarios with some of the most dangerous people in the world.