Only Millionaires Can Afford the Real Onions in 2024
Ah, the food inflation season has come around again, like that annual neighborhood festival nobody asked for but which somehow requires everyone’s attendance. As usual, vegetable prices are playing a cruel game of musical chairs with our wallets. This time, however, they’ve upped the ante – not content with tomatoes' fleeting fame from earlier, onions have now taken the spotlight, doubling in price like they’re about to win an oscar for "Best Supporting Ingredient."
Down in Madurai, the humble onion has become the new status symbol. Thanks to a conveniently timed "reduction in supply," the iconic small onions, a staple in every dish, have suddenly transformed into a luxury item. Planning on spicing up that sambar or throwing a bit into your stir-fry? Be prepared to invest a little extra – and perhaps give your bank a heads-up for that emergency transfer.
Of course, this situation has its bright side. You see, with the lack of cold storage facilities, some traders are data-faced with the heart-wrenching decision of whether to watch their fresh produce rot in front of their eyes or sell it before it meets its untimely end. Who knew onions could add so much drama to life? It’s a miracle the idea of a "save-the-onions" GoFundMe hasn’t been proposed yet.
To make matters more delightful, leading FMCG companies, never ones to miss a trend, have kindly announced that they too will be hiking their prices. Just in case you thought basic food staples were your only concern, don’t worry – toothpaste, soap, and every other “daily essential” are tagging along for the ride. Soon, inflation may become so comprehensive that breathing itself will be a high-end luxury item (currently zero cost, but watch this space!).
Experts will, of course, assure us that this is a temporary inconvenience, brought about by the usual seasonal shortages and supply chain "snags." Yes, they’ll assure us, just as they did last month and the month before that, and the month before that. So, dear readers, we leave you with a simple choice: savor those onions while they last, or consider 2024 the year you finally learn to cook without them.
Down in Madurai, the humble onion has become the new status symbol. Thanks to a conveniently timed "reduction in supply," the iconic small onions, a staple in every dish, have suddenly transformed into a luxury item. Planning on spicing up that sambar or throwing a bit into your stir-fry? Be prepared to invest a little extra – and perhaps give your bank a heads-up for that emergency transfer.
Of course, this situation has its bright side. You see, with the lack of cold storage facilities, some traders are data-faced with the heart-wrenching decision of whether to watch their fresh produce rot in front of their eyes or sell it before it meets its untimely end. Who knew onions could add so much drama to life? It’s a miracle the idea of a "save-the-onions" GoFundMe hasn’t been proposed yet.
To make matters more delightful, leading FMCG companies, never ones to miss a trend, have kindly announced that they too will be hiking their prices. Just in case you thought basic food staples were your only concern, don’t worry – toothpaste, soap, and every other “daily essential” are tagging along for the ride. Soon, inflation may become so comprehensive that breathing itself will be a high-end luxury item (currently zero cost, but watch this space!).
Experts will, of course, assure us that this is a temporary inconvenience, brought about by the usual seasonal shortages and supply chain "snags." Yes, they’ll assure us, just as they did last month and the month before that, and the month before that. So, dear readers, we leave you with a simple choice: savor those onions while they last, or consider 2024 the year you finally learn to cook without them.